tommy hilfiger The Case of the Magical Coats

The Case of the Magical Coats and the Disappearing Designer

30 Rock and The Office have ended their seasons, leaving my sad little Thursday night television habit left with only The Fashion Show, but hey, at least it’s getting better. Kind of.

On last nights episode host Isaac Mizrahi revealed he’s grown tired of clo tommy hilfiger thes that just simply cloth you. I mean damn it, this is 2009. So he instructed the team of designers to construct a coat that can perform a little trick on the runway.

A coat that comes out with its wife coat, daughter coat and son coat. The father coats takes out a series of 12 inch black and inserts them into a special compartment of all the other coats. Then the son coat starts the daughter coat, while the mom coat starts the dad coat. Untill all the coats on to the floor and start rolling around in it?

To which Isaac Mizrahi just smiles, and says, “Well, what do you call yourselves?”

They’re quiet with foppy hair, and you can tell they secretly hate all the other contesta tommy hilfiger nts. At night they sit in a room lit only by candles drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and listening to Joy Division. Merlin doesn’t really fit in, but that’s ok. When he complains, “Oh, ju people, why don’t ju listen to some happy time music, ok darlings,” the others just crank up “Atrocity Exibition” until he’s drowned out and they continue smoking their cigarettes, dancing awkwardly side to side, while occasionally whiping the bangs out of their eyes.

Anyway, they came up with this collection.

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They’re last wee tommy hilfiger k’s defending champs, and seem to work well together. Daniella’s coat hid little secrets in its sleeves. Andrew’s magically grew longer in length. Anna’s had a compartment for gloves and a scarf. Kieth’s was the dumbest, and turned into a beach blanket for sunbathing. They won again, and Andrew took the individual winner status. Daniella’s was pissed because she had helped Andrew, the lil male underwear designer, so, so much, which she told the judges. The Judges basically told her to shut up, and it was very awkward. Though, not at all dramatic like the previews mad it seem.

Then on to our favorite hot mess of a team. Reco, Haven, Markus and Johnny.

Reco decided to take over the reigns as head designer for his team, which was good for he’s the best technical designer on the team, but was bad because he’s getting really, really annoying. At first Reco only annoyed because of that ugly tattoo on his kneck (I’m sure later in the season he’ll explain it as something really meaningful, like “My grandmama died, and every night before she tucked me in she kissed me on the neck so I decided to get a tattoo to honor her.” At which point I’ll feel like an asshole, but for now it’s just ugly), but now his ego is growing to uncontrollably proportions.

At first his theme was Aeon Flux the cult cartoon show and, latter, box office live action bomb.

Though, all the help from Reco didn’t make things that better. The judges hated it, and singled out our own Markus and Haven. Amateur Samurai Johnny’s coat’s trick was that it held shoes in the back pockets, yet somehow he was safe.

Markus’s defense was that he could not sew very well, which is not a very good excuse when you’re on a competition show about sewing. So off went Markus out of the competition, carrying his coat with him, just like that. So long.

The judges said he was a dreamer but didn’t have the drive to perfect things. He came off a little naive, and personally made me think about all those times readers say, “Kyle, we like your posts but would it kill you to learn how to spell correctly?”

To which I usually reply, “Dear readers, stfu.” That probably makes me come off like a snot nosed brat, which I realized tommy hilfiger last night. See how much you learn about yourself through reality television. Because Reality TV is magic, more magic even than these coats.

Anyway, with Markus gone we’ll probably stop our Fashion Show coverage, until the reunion show when Markus complains about some douche bag blogger that hounded him.

tommy hilfiger The case of the disappearing m

The case of the disappearing mulch

There is only one problem my garden eats mulch. Skeptics might say that the disappearing mulch is the result of natural decomposition. They might also remind me that some of my precious bark shreds leave the premises during wind and rainstorms or get compacted in the natural course of events. I understand about those things, but this is something different.

I buy my mulch bagged at the garden center and lug it around myself. I hurl it into the beds with my own hands and spread it with my own rake, so I am positive that every ounce of it hits the ground. With all that personal mulch involvement, you would think I would notice it disappearing. You tommy hilfiger would be wrong. Over the years I have bought hundreds of bags of mulch, and every year I find vast expanses of bare or nearly bare ground that look as if they’ve never been mulched before.

My husband, who is wary of the raccoons that burgle our garbage cans, is sure that they are responsible for mulch theft. He is in awe of their ingenuity, so he just assumes that they are bagging it up and reselling it down the road. I don’t doubt that the raccoons are capable of such nefarious dealings, but I think they are more interested in all the flimsy neighborhood garbage cans. If I believed in garden spirits, I would lay the mulch theft at their doors.

My neighbors don’t seem to have this prob tommy hilfiger lem, but appearances are everything in my suburban town and I am embarrassed to ask them about it. They may be too busy flinging their own mulch to stop and wonder where it all goes.

Can the plants themselves be eating it? The prime suspect in my tommy hilfiger yard tommy hilfiger is a bright red “Disco Belle” hibiscus that seems to get bigger every year. We also have a rose that started eight years ago in a one gallon pot and is now six feet tall and eight feet wide. Neither plant receives any supplemental food or water, so it stands to reason that they must be fueling their enormous growth by snarfing down mulch like hungry teenagers. The rose a rambler with exceptionally long canes can easily reach into adjacent garden areas to steal tasty shredded bark.

I would love to solve the mystery, but, as with any disturbance in the ecosystem, there is always a chance that the solution might be worse than the problem. I really don’t want to tangle with thwarted raccoons, angry garden spirits, or even enraged “Disco Belles.” Not long ago I noticed that some of those long rose canes had begun to arch menacingly toward my bedroom window. If I persist in the mulch investigation, I will have to do the prudent thing and take my loppers to bed with me every night. That would be hard on my marriage.